I listened.
When he finally finished, I asked,
“One more question.”
“Anything.”
“The note from this morning.”
Edward pulled it from his pocket.
“You are my favorite part of the morning. Be great today,” he read.
“Did you believe it?”
“Yes.”
“Even knowing you were about to change into a suit and become someone I didn’t know existed?”
“Especially then.”
He folded the card carefully.
“Because you and Jamie were always the real part.”
I looked at him.
“We have a lot of work to do.”
“I know.”
“And first, we have to tell Jamie why his father has apparently been changing costumes behind a trash can every morning.”
Edward almost laughed.
“I’ve been trying to figure out how to explain that.”
“Together?”
I nodded.
“Together.”
When we got home, Jamie was sitting at the kitchen table doing homework.
He looked up.
Then immediately asked,
“Did you follow Dad?”
“Yes.”
His eyes widened.
“Is everything okay?”
Edward sat down across from him.
“Jamie, there’s something I need to tell you.”
Jamie stared at him seriously.
Edward continued.
“I haven’t been completely honest with you or Mom.”
Jamie leaned forward.
“Are you a spy?”
Edward looked at me.
I looked at Edward.
Jamie shrugged.
“Because honestly, I would be okay with that.”
I started laughing.
Not because anything was particularly funny.
Because sometimes laughter is where fear, anger, relief, and love all end up when there’s nowhere else for them to go.
Edward started laughing too.
Jamie looked disappointed.
“So you’re not a spy.”
“No.”
“What are you?”
“I’m an architect.”
Jamie blinked.
“Like buildings?”
“Exactly.”
“But you work construction.”
“I used to.”
Edward explained.
“Now I design buildings, and construction crews build them.”
Jamie thought about this.
“That’s actually cooler.”
Edward smiled.
“It has its moments.”
“Why didn’t you tell us?”
Edward became serious.
“Because years ago, I made a mistake.”
He looked at me briefly.
“And then I kept making that same mistake because I was afraid.”
“Afraid of what?”
“That if I showed the people I love who I really was, they might not love that version of me.”
Jamie stared at him.
“That’s dumb.”
Edward nodded.
“Yes.”
“It is.”
Jamie shrugged.
“I’d love you even if you didn’t have a job.”
Edward’s eyes changed.
“I know that now.”
Then Jamie looked at me.
“Did you know?”
“Not until today.”
“Are you mad?”
“I’m complicated.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means I love your dad and I’m also upset with him.”
I smiled slightly.
“Adults can feel both things at the same time.”
Jamie nodded.
“Okay.”
Then he went back to his homework.
About thirty seconds later, without looking up, he asked,
“Dad?”
“Yes?”
“Are you going to keep throwing Mom’s lunches away?”
“No.”
“Good.”
Jamie kept writing.
“Her sandwiches are really good.”
The next morning, I packed Edward’s lunch.
Two sandwiches.
Apple slices.
Black coffee.
But I put them in a different bag.
He didn’t need the old construction lunchbox anymore.
Then I sat down with an index card.
For the first time in twelve years, writing the note felt different.
Before, I believed Edward would read it during lunch and then continue with the day I thought he was living.
Now I knew he would probably read it twice.
Fold it.
Keep it.
So I wrote:
I know who you are now.
I want to know everything else.
Edward read the note at the kitchen table.
This time, he didn’t fold it into his pocket.
He placed it carefully inside his wallet, in the compartment where he kept the things he never wanted to be without.
Then he stood.
“I’ll be home by six.”
I looked at him.
“I know.”
He kissed me.
And walked out the door.
He was wearing the navy suit.
This time, I knew why.
